Inside the Cabal: The First Three Drops from The Cabal Collection at Fortean Giftorium
The shadows are stirring, and the first wave of The Cabal Collection at Fortean Giftorium is live. Three highly classified (but also widely available) designs have emerged, each celebrating the hidden power structures, unsung operatives, and the absurdity of modern conspiracy culture. If you’ve ever wanted to look like you’re in on the joke (or the cover-up), these shirts are your official uniform.
Here’s what’s been declassified so far:
1. Deep State Operative – The One That Says It All
A bold, no-nonsense declaration of authority, this design is for those who prefer to keep things vague, ominous, and just plausible enough to make people uncomfortable. Whether you actually run things from the shadows or just enjoy making people wonder, this shirt does the heavy lifting for you.
Unapologetically bold block lettering
Perfect for airport security lines, HOA meetings, and family gatherings
Pairs well with dark sunglasses and a knowing smirk
Are you in charge? Are you a joke? No one will ever know.
2. Clandestine Janitor – Because Someone Has to Clean Up
When the secrets pile up, who’s there with a mop and a highly classified clearance level? The Clandestine Janitor. Inspired by the real shadowy cleanup crews (probably), this design features a dramatic spotlight silhouette of a janitor in action—because not all operatives carry briefcases.
For the behind-the-scenes fixers
Looks great under dim lighting and security cameras
Perfect for anyone who’s ever had to “take care of something”
Keep it clean. Deny everything.
3. Lizard Liaison Office – Deep State Division
Diplomacy isn’t easy, especially when your negotiations involve cold-blooded overlords from another dimension. Enter the Lizard Liaison Office, the official-unofficial agency dedicated to keeping our reptilian counterparts satisfied and unnoticed.
This design features a subtly sinister split-face silhouette, hinting at the duality of power—half human, half lizard, 100% classified.
For those who appreciate good conspiracy lore
Blends seamlessly into high-society events and underground bunkers
No confirmation or denial needed—just wear it and walk away
Your clearance level is insufficient to ask questions.
More to Come…
This is just the beginning. The Cabal Collection at Fortean Giftorium will continue to expose, obscure, and entertain, bringing more absurdly secret organizations to life. Because if everyone thinks they exist, we might as well sell their merch.
Shop The Cabal Collection Now
Wear the mystery. Deny everything.
Even Brobot is part of the Deep State- see below for what he said about this.
The Deepest State of Affairs
In the shadow of an underground bunker, hidden beneath layers of classified clearance and reinforced security, an elite team of intelligence operatives sat in silence. The air was thick with conspiracy and the scent of stale coffee.
At the center of the room, a bureau of anonymous figures studied a blinking screen, their faces obscured by the dim glow of encrypted data. The network of surveillance cameras flickered, showing only static—an eerie silence that spoke volumes. Something had gone wrong. Unknown forces had infiltrated their covert system, disrupting the hierarchy of command.
The control panel beeped. A red warning message flashed:
“DEEP STATE OPERATION COMPROMISED. LIZARD LIAISON OFFICE BREACHED.”
The agent at the keyboard cursed under his breath, running a frantic classified scan. “We have an intrigue issue,” he muttered. “The restricted files on the agenda are missing.”
The authority figure at the head of the table—a man with an unnervingly observer-like gaze—sighed. “Activate the operative in Sector 6. We need to restore control before they leak the dossier on the puppet government.”
A mysterious figure in the corner chuckled. “That won’t be enough. We need deception.”
There was silence. Then, a scheme unfolded.
Step one: Blame the janitor. The informant would spread misinformation about a clean employee “accidentally” leaking data.
Step two: Spin a new directive—create a fabricated threat of forbidden alien infiltration. The informant would “discover” an encrypted message from an observer stating that the power structure was compromised by reptilian entities.
Step three: Lock down all files and declare a black-level security event. Ensure that the influence of any leak was contained within the inner circle of the bureau.
Meanwhile, in a restricted maintenance corridor, a lone watcher swept his mop across the cold floors of the deep state facility. The hidden cameras were blind to his espionage, the quiet flick of a classified USB drive disappearing into his pocket.
“Time to take out the trash,” he murmured, disappearing into the authority-sealed exit marked ACCESS DENIED.
The files were gone.
The operation had begun.
And the deep state janitor had just become the most dangerous operative in history.
Deny everything. Trust no one. Wear the merch.
